Note: I have been making these fake OkCupid profiles for some time now, but for this installment, I decided to hand over the reins. It is truly my honor to present the following OkCupid profile (and for the very first time, correspondences with other OkCupid users), written ENTIRELY by the esteemed poet and writer, Dr. Maya Angelou:
OkCupid User: heymisterDJ 18 / F / Bisexual / Single Van Nuys, California
My self-summary I am a Woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal Woman, that’s me.
What I’m doing with my life My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.
I’m really good at Poetry is music for the human voice. Until you actually speak it or someone speaks it, it has not come into its own.
The six things I could never do without Peace, My Brother. Peace, My Sister. Peace, My Soul.
I spend a lot of time thinking about A story went the rounds about a San Franciscan white matron who refused to sit beside a Negro civilian on the streetcar, even after he made room for her on the seat. Her explanation was that she would not sit beside a draft dodger who was a Negro as well. She added that the least he could do was fight for his country the way her son was fighting on Iwo Jima. The story said that the man pulled his body away from the window to show an armless sleeve. He said quietly and with great dignity, “Then ask your son to look around for my arm, which I left over there.”
The most private thing I’m willing to admit There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.
I’m looking for Guys who like girls Ages 18–22 Near me For casual sex
You should message me if When a person shows who they really are, believe them. I do not trust people who don’t love themselves and yet tell me, ‘I love you.’ There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.
Maya Angelou’s works can be found at your local public library, I guess. For more OkCupid profiles, click HERE.
We are a collectively run house that currently has 5 adults and one 10 month old child. The house is owned by a friend who is only around a few months out of the year. The rest of the year, he travels teaching dance and organizing the “Blues Recess” dance events (http://bluesrecess.com/)We purchased the house last summer and just finished remodeling the basement, adding three bedrooms and one bathroom. We are transitioning from individual to collective house management. We ask that you be interested and available to be a part of running the house.
We are an eccentric bunch of radical, queer, poly, dancer, witchy, healer, nudy, bikey, woo woo, sex posi, card playing, family making people. Stepping over a baby toy as you walk in to our kitchen, you can join in the conversations about radical politics punctuated with commentary on the raucous sex noises reverberating through the house. We are the social hub for a community of blues dancers so we have frequent visitors from the neighborhood and from out of town. The house is used as a staging area for the Blues Recess events, so shit gets crazy (and fun) around Recess time. We strive to create a community that is safe and supportive of alternative lifestyles, our own growth, and raising our babies.. Expect to have your comfort zones pushed, as we explore the boundaries of what is acceptable within mainstream society. We all share food and we feed many friends. It would be awesome if you are into that.
With all that said, it is important to note that boundaries and consent are so important to us that we’ve decided to give them their own paragraph. While lots of sexing does happen here, it happens only with the willing and full participation of everyone involved. It is important that you honor and respect everyone’s boundaries, communicate clearly about sex, and not make any assumptions that someone wants to be sexual with you. If you aren’t already familiar with it, read a little bit about consent culture. http://pervocracy.blogspot.com/2012/01/consent-culture.html is a great start. Some of our expectations: Although we strive to maintain a clean space, we are a large and busy house. We expect each other to be both tolerant of some mess and to do our own part plus a little bit more in order to keep the house clean and functioning. As a new collective, we are especially interested in people with collective living experience. We expect you to help maintain our home as a safe space for queer, transgender, and otherwise non-normative people, as well as a myriad of relationship models. We’re cool with heteromonoganormitive people too :). Also, pay your rent and bills.
I enjoy spontaneous music projects, I play the didgeridoo and do some vocal work. Interested in exploring more musical collaborations as I meet more people in Portland. I also explore my creative side by creating cacao balls and other goodies. I’ve come up with some pretty unique flavor combinations, and I love gifting them to people. I’d say a lot of my approach to life has been influenced by my travels in Central America, my two times at Burning Man Festival, my spiritual explorations, along with all the people I’ve met along the way. While in Central America I got very into the sacred cacao and work with it frequently. I often brew the drink for friends and have done a lot of ceremonial work with it. One of my intentions for this present moment and what follows is to continue spreading cacao as a sacred instrument for creative exploration, heart-connection, playful mood-enhancement, emotional healing work, and whatever other possibilities await. I am interested in becoming a transpersonal therapist who integrates spiritual and psychological growth with cacao as a facilitator for both. I practice yoga and some other spiritual practices I’ve found enjoyable over the years. Also do some weights and running. I enjoy outdoor adventures in the park and exploring new areas, would like to do some more hiking once the weather’s better (whenever that is…). For my job, I work as a counselor at a group home with a schizophrenic population, challenging work but I really enjoy it. I enjoy service to others and also do some volunteering. Haven’t been to too many in Portland, but I enjoy dancing at electronica shows, especially dubstep.
A passion for cacao is a big bonus. I would like to begin facilitating weekly cacao ceremonies at the apartment and if you would be interested in getting involved with this, I would love that.
It’s cool if you drink or indulge in 420, as long as it’s not excessive, I don’t do so much of either, much more of a cacao-junkie myself.
When it comes to media choices, Hunch.com found that dog people prefer jam bands, reggae and psychedelic rock, while cat people listen to more New Wave, classic rock and electronic music.
Dog people listed “American Idol” and “Everybody Loves Raymond” as their favorite TV shows and “Crash” and “No Country For Old Men” as their top movie choices. Cat people preferred “CSI” and “Real Time With Bill Maher” for TV and listed “Slumdog Millionaire” and “The Hurt Locker” as their favorite movies.
But what about those people with both cats and dogs? According to Hunch.com’s survey, these people are likely to be female suburbanites who are politically middle of the road.