May 2013
7 posts
1 tag
brettdavis:
Note: I have been making these fake OkCupid profiles for some time now, but for this installment, I decided to hand over the reins. It is truly my honor to present the following OkCupid profile (and for the very first time, correspondences with other OkCupid users), written ENTIRELY by the esteemed poet and writer, Dr. Maya Angelou:
OkCupid User: heymisterDJ 18 / F / Bisexual /...
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April 2013
10 posts
2 tags
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My mom was my age in 1973/4.
Why couldn’t I have come first?
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How can you have a quarter-assed tumblr featuring both inane/poop humor and also aesthetically pleasing things?
Easily I suppose
3 tags
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No Legs
badkidsjokes:
what do you call a fish with no legs
a fsh
March 2013
9 posts
5 tags
Sex House
$425 Recess House Collective seeks roommate
We are a collectively run house that currently has 5 adults and one 10 month old child. The house is owned by a friend who is only around a few months out of the year. The rest of the year, he travels teaching dance and organizing the “Blues Recess” dance events (http://bluesrecess.com/)We purchased the house last summer and just finished...
2 tags
More
Wow, only $50? This should be like $500!
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$480 Seeking Creative Unique Roommate (SE,...
[…]
I enjoy spontaneous music projects, I play the didgeridoo and do some vocal work. Interested in exploring more musical collaborations as I meet more people in Portland. I also explore my creative side by creating cacao balls and other goodies. I’ve come up with some pretty unique flavor combinations, and I love gifting them to people. I’d say a lot of my approach to life has...
Dog people vs. cat people
When it comes to media choices, Hunch.com found that dog people prefer jam bands, reggae and psychedelic rock, while cat people listen to more New Wave, classic rock and electronic music.
Dog people listed “American Idol” and “Everybody Loves Raymond” as their favorite TV shows and “Crash” and “No Country For Old Men” as their top movie choices. Cat people preferred “CSI” and “Real Time With...
3 tags
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February 2013
7 posts
1 tag
Who wants to be in an Adam Ant cover band!?
Me!!
We could be called Eve Earwig…
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My Movie Tastes
Cerebral Father-Daughter Movies
Dark Foreign Father-Daughter Movies
Oh good, looks like Netflix is slowly approaching the genre of “Steamy Father-Daughter Movies”
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To judge by the image results for “gangrene,” the balls are a common place for gangrene to occur. This was surprising to me.
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Shadowstar's Den →
I :) hope :) your :) site :) becmes :) popular :) too :) ShadowStar…:)
January 2013
10 posts
Peanuts
badkidsjokes:
KNOCK KNOCK
who’s there
peanuts
peanuts who
is it really nessasary to pee on those nuts
Oh man. This joke brilliantly so evokes my time of being age ~15-16. I even heard it being said in my voice and then I pissed my pants laughing (in the memory)
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OkCL
Keep getting OkC and craigslist/rooms&shares mixed up, i.e., “Why is this girl showing so much of her boobs and sitting half-naked on the kitchen counter? That’s no way to find suitable housemates…”
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Trying to date people while depressed is a neverending exercise in reductio ad absurdum…
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Why Did The Cow
badkidsjokes:
why did the cow poo on the man?
a man has a toilet but a cow dose’nt. so a man is a cows toilet
Flawless logic
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When we have gone to sleep with a maddening toothache and are conscious of it...
– This totally happened to me last night. Only instead of Moliere or a drowning girl it was endless plates of vegan food at this hipster restaurant in Oakland (why are all my dreams of visiting the Bay so stressful?) that were constantly appearing but then being snatched away slyly (I finally caught...
Peanut Butter Cabana Boy
Starving Artist Seeks Muse and Patron and Swim Partner - 26 (portland)
Date:2013-01-02, 3:38AM PST
dxwwc-3515938657@pers.craigslist.org
My new years resolution is to sell my first piece of artwork, to start a family, to get access to an indoor swimming pool, to get out of my lease for the $25 a month couch in the rat hole living room, to get a studio to paint, to be able to go out to eat...
December 2012
8 posts
3 tags
Punchline
“Pick Up Autist”
1 tag
Uhhhh.........
Grim cat (SW 26 th ave)
Date:2012-12-22, 7:27PM PST
qwswb-3496757785@comm.craigslist.org[?]
Dead cat found in beer box! This was a floppy white cat wrapped in 50 shades “gray” sweatshirt! I feel so bad for this cat! Also a bike was sound near the sean. I feel also for the owners cause they are more F..king f up then this little lost dead kitty. Claim UR bike please!
Location: SW...
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Obama is not expected to lay out specific policy...